No, friends, kicking your s.o. to the curb is NOT the solution.
Much to your chagrin, the majority of the drama in your life is NOT coming from your other half, but rather from the enemy within.
It is self-imposed and unless you are certifiably nutso, it might be a good idea to wrap your mind around how you can eliminate as much of this needless drama as possible, so you can smile a little more often.
Trust me, you look better when you smile.
Most of the frustration and angst in our lives comes from three basic issues:
- Lying to yourself
- Assuming instead of asking
- Believing you are the center of the universe
If we can choose to diligently work on not allowing ourselves to succumb to these pitfalls, nirvana awaits.
These issues are very simple, but trust me it will be equally difficult to change the behaviors you have that are causing the problems you experience on a daily basis.
1. Lying To Yourself
The truth is, everybody else knows that you are full of crap.
I don’t know who you think you are fooling, but when someone asks you, “What’s wrong?” and you answer, “Oh, nothing” the only person you MIGHT be convincing, is yourself.
If I asked you what’s wrong, it’s probably because I can see it written all over your face and body language that somebody crapped in your corn flakes this morning and I am asking the question to give you permission to vent, not because I am oblivious.
Stop lying to yourself and just speak your mind.
Sometimes it is ok to say you feel like crap, or you don’t want to hang out with me.
Standing up for yourself improves self-esteem and self-worth and those things will make you feel amazing, I promise.
The next time you feel something, good, bad or indifferent, just say what you feel and you might be surprised how good you feel about being honest with yourself for a change.
2. Assuming Instead Of Asking
- Not sure why that special someone isn’t answering your texts?
- Could it be because they’re seeing somebody else?
- Could it be because they don’t like you anymore?
- Could it be (insert other negative, worst-case-scenario made-up-thing here)???
Anything is possible, but just in case it has never occurred to you up until now, the best way to find an answer…is to ask the question.
If you want to know why they didn’t come to your birthday party, just ask. Don’t assume they don’t care about you and instead chose to avoid you to watch re-runs of “Sex In The City.”
That will only cause unwarranted drama and a spiral cluster bomb in your friendship, when all could have been avoided with a quick phone call.
Chances are the convo will go something like this:
You: “Hey [insert name here], why didn’t you make it to my birthday party the other day? I missed you.”
Them: “OMG, that was this past weekend? I am so sorry! I had it in my calendar for next weekend. How ever can I make it up to you?”
3. Believing You Are The Center Of The Universe
This one is going to shock a lot of you out there, but in the real world, nobody really gives a crap about you.
They certainly don’t plan their day around you nor do they purposely pick you out of all of the cars on the freeway to cut off just to ruin your day.
I know it certainly feels like it was a personal attack when that blue minivan cut you off as you were texting your nail lady, but interestingly enough, there is a pretty high likelihood (99.999999999%) that the driver of the minivan didn’t even notice you and it was a complete accident.
Try not to get too bent out of shape at “that assclown” who tried to sabotage your date by walking too slowly in front of you as you rushed across the mall looking for the movie theater.
I doubt Mr./Ms. Assclown even knew you were behind him, so they probably weren’t purposely messing with your potential sex life.
Drama is all around us, we need not manufacture our own.
Try and implement a couple of these changes in thought and you might just find yourself feeling a little better for it.