Eye contact is a tricky art to master, but once utilized effectively the world could be your oyster.
Effectively is the key word here…
- Make too much of it and you are forever labeled the creepy guy.
- Make too light of it and you will forever be seen as a liar.
Whether male or female, married or single, eye contact is one of the most under- appreciated skills of communication.
It is a powerful social skill and an even more powerful relationship building skill.
Eye contact tells others what you are really thinking:
You have most certainly heard the phrase “the eyes are the window to the soul”.
Nothing can be more true.
Through your eye contact, you will tell the person you are talking to if you are interested or not in what they have to say as well as your real feeling about what they are saying.
You can say “oh yes, I am absolutely listening and hear your concerns”…
…but if you cannot stay focused on their pupils for longer than a couple of seconds, you may have been ratted out.
This is especially true with women as women will determine within a few minutes of eye contact, or lack thereof, if they will ever go out with you again.
Your eye contact is crucial in conveying confidence as well as interest.
On the flip side of this
If you stare her down like a hungry jackal and refuse to break OR let her break eye contact, she will get creeped out and run for the hills.
Nothing is worse than having a conversation in which the person you are talking to locks you in like a tractor beam.
60% eye contact during a conversation is sufficient and will give the other person the feeling that you are right there with them but not overzealous about it.
Without further ado…
1. Eye Contact Builds Trust.
This doesn’t really bode well for those of you who naturally have a shifty-eyed countenance.
The fact is, in general people perceive those who don’t make eye contact as untrustworthy and potentially lying.
- It’s a myth that if a person refuses to make eye contact then he is undoubtedly lying.
- Most savvy liars know this and have mastered the stare.
- Someone who is extremely self-conscious or has a low self-worth will likely not stare you in the eye.
Consider this with each individual interaction before making judgment.
And to your advantage, use this to help you increase your chances of building trust and report.
And worth noting is the commonly used “eye aversion test” that investigators and other authorities use that some people think that they too can use to catch “that lying bastard.”
Typically when people remember actual details they move their eyes up and to the left.
When they are creating details, they move them up and to the right.
This method is obviously fallible and certainly avoided by those in the know.
2. Eyes Are Sexy!
Eye contact as well as the shape and size of the eyes are all determining factors in attraction.
- Larger pupils
- Lighter colored retinas
- “Eyes that smile”
are all considered sexy eye attributes.
Millions of dollars are spent annually on surgical eye reconstructions to widen the eye and colored lenses to lighten the eye.
Cartoons on TV and in print all share a similar format when creating the eyes for a female character. Some obviously go far to the extreme such as Anime, but look at the thousands of women that try to recreate that look with makeup and lenses.
Make-up companies prey on the desire of women to appear more attractive with “eye defining”, “eye brightening”, “eye widening” shadows and liners.
So what can you do with what God gave you?
3. Stop Squinting! Learn the Art of Smiling with your Eyes.
The secret you ask?
Actually give a crap about the person you are speaking to.
Feel legit happiness for or about them because…
Yup, your eyes will show it.
4. Eye Contact Indicates Intelligence and a Calm Demeanor.
It is a well-known fact that if you make and maintain eye contact during a job interview you are far more likely to get the job than without.
Employers want people that they can trust and your eye contact as stated above will clue them into your apparent “trustworthiness”.
It is also general knowledge that a confident person will easily engage in eye contact.
Eye contact also fosters empathy and a greater sense of emotional understanding which comes in really handy when dealing with a hostile situation. When things are heated it is very difficult to maintain control of your own emotions let alone eye contact.
Once you have harnessed the power of this skill, you can literally defuse a raging inferno of emotions with just your eyes and the empathy pouring out of them.
Let that sink in for a moment.
You have been given the power to control, so don’t abuse it.
Do something good for the universe!
Or at least get a second date….whatever is the numero uno (#1) priority in your life.