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7 Things Your Trainer is Really Thinking

By August 6, 2017 April 12th, 2019 No Comments

Personal Trainers are actually people too.

I know, crazy right?

They’re assumed to be machines who train twice a day, eat five meals a day and coach somewhere in the midst of it all.

But we really do have internal monologues running through our heads.

And it’s not always a pretty sight.

Want to know what your personal trainer is really thinking?

Here it is…

1. “How Is It Possible To Have So Little Control Over Your Hips?!”

Any personal trainer out there who has ever taught a Deadlift or Kettlebell Swing to the general population has said this a thousand times over in their heads.

For some ungodly reason, you’ve managed to lose total control over your hips, and turn into a weird, thrusting, calf-dominant jelly-person.

2. “Please Stop Talking And Lift The Damn Weight”

I really “do” care what you did last weekend.

But, stop talking in your 30 seconds rest period. It’s 30 seconds for a reason. So, stop talking, now, please.

Get your ass back to work!

3. “How Are You This Old And Have Never Learned To Run?”

Sourcetext: YUP! “Friends”.

4. “No, Don’t Go To Bathroom Now, You Should Have Done It Beforehand – What Are You, 3 Years Old?”

Think of your Personal Training session as a long car journey (that you’re paying for).

Have a ‘bathroom break’ before you come to the session.

5. “I Said Cheat Meal, Not ‘Eat Two Days Worth Of Food In An Hour’”

6. “Yes, Of Course The Weight Is Heavy, It’s Supposed To Be!”

The bar has been safely loaded to a tiny little bit heavier than it was last week.

But, for some reason, you think I decided to add a Toyota to the end of the bar in order to crush your spine.

I didn’t.

So, trust me, and lift the damn weight already!

7. “I am NOT a doctor!”

I can understand you wanting to share sharing your pains and discomforts with me, but don’t expect me to diagnose your problem, believe me!

I do not have x-ray vision, as cool as that may be…

What do you think your trainer is thinking? If you’re the trainer…