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GYM SNOBS… Weight Slammer Dude

By September 23, 2014 April 18th, 2019 No Comments
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Hey guys this is the second installment of a series about how NOT to piss people off in the gym…

(This is for entertainment purposes only)

It was another late night with my training partner Cristy Allen (IFPA Figure and Physique Pro).

We’re crashing legs and all is well within the late night gym universe.

Well all was well until the ABSOLUTE WORST GYM ETIQUETTE OFENDER showed up to ruine our killer leg day.

By now you’ve read a few articles of mine and you’re probably thinking that I am being dramatic.

Thrust me I’m not. Weight Slammer Dude showed up and pulled the Miley Cyrus.

He literally came in like a wrecking ball.

First things first.

Who is weight slammer dude?

Well he has many alias’ and his rap sheet is a mile long. You know the guy who comes in and drops weights after every set.

He’s reckless and he’s dangerous.

It could be a set of bicep curls with the 20lb dumbbells. Doesn’t matter.

When he’s done the gym turns into bombs over Baghdad.

Seriously giving new meaning to dropping it like it’s hot. Please have your wits about you and your reflexes or risk losing a limb around this turd.

So here it is after midnight and there are literally 3 people in the gym aside from the guy manning the front desk.

I’m in the squat rack getting money (getting money: A term that basically means putting in work) when the room begins to vibrate.

I look at Christy.

“Did you feel that?” said with a slight tone of trepidation. She responds in tern.

Oh no, the vibrating is escalated to an all out earthquake. We both take cover and scan the room, to our surprise we see Weight Slammer Dude.

Isn’t it past his curfew? And worst he’s doing deadlifts. Sets of ten no less.

Jesus, does this guy know how he’s contributing to the downfall of humanity? No because the jerk is wearing headphones. Would I be wrong if I walked over to his little area of terror and disassembled his fitness weapon of mass destruction during one of his extended rest periods? Sure it would, but I’m close to snapping.

He’s slamming 155lbs as if it were 400lbs. I look to the sky searching for answers from the “fit gods” as to why he hasn’t gotten a knee injury or something.

Fit gods, at least allow him to misplace his protein and pre-workout scooper.

Oh the humanity.

Here’s hoping that one day Weight Slammer Dude reads this article and finds the error in his ways, or at the very least loses his job and is forced to drop his gym membership.

Thank you for understanding the severity of this matter.

Yours Truly,

GYM SNOBS PS: This is mostly for fun, and I nor my partner feel this strong about anyone getting fit, but understand that some of your friends are equally embarrassed of you.

Consider this a favor. 😉