Whether people admits to it or not, millions people daily suffer through missed opportunities from lack of confidence.
If you had the confidence to do everything you ever wanted to, what would you accomplish…..? Maybe ask that girl out, which ends up being your lifetime partner? Maybe you ask your boss about a promotion and you end up making thousands of dollars more a year just due to that conversation? Even get out of a bad situation due to having the confidence to speak up when enough is enough? What would you accomplish and what would you do different in your life if you had the confidence to take those opportunities?
For being such a superficial world, it’s no coincidence that many individual’s confidence are lacking. With more and more of the world being about your looks, performance, and wealth, it can become hard not to compare yourself to others. Whether your goal is to be better at dating, social interactions, or just to feel better about yourself, boosting your confidence is probably the number one priority on your list.
In this article I will cover how to gain confidence through changing your perception of the world around you. No bulls*** life coaching books, huge life changes, or gimmicks. Changing how I perceived the world gave me the ability to gain the confidence I needed in life, and it can for you too!
The hardest part of lacking confidence, is believing that everyone else has the highest self-esteem ever. Not only are you putting yourself down, but you are also further separating yourself from others by putting them on a pedestal. You kill your own confidence when you separate yourself from those around you through your own mental barriers.
By eliminating that mental separation from those around you, you put yourself on equal ground with the ones around you.
One mental barrier that completely kills confidence is anxiously building up this mental conclusion that what you are doing can ruin your life.
No, getting rejected by a girl will not make you “forever alone”, not getting that promotion will not mean you will not advance in your career, and accidentally saying the wrong thing in a group conversation will not make everyone not want to talk to you anymore.
Realizing that most of your tasks needing to be done that you are lacking confidence in are every day things. Realize that they will not make or break your life, but over time can result in amazing opportunities along the way.
Confidence Follows Skill
Have you ever played sports? How about studied for an exam? Most things that require confidence also require skill. When you are anxious about an upcoming exam, what do you do? Do you try and read all the books there are on how to take an exam, listen to seminars about how learning the subject you are studying is important, or do you practice going over the material that will be on the exam? If you plan on passing that exam, you would decide to practice the material that the exam actually covers.
How do you go about doing so? Regardless of your study method, you always repeatedly go over the material. When you mess up, you try again. When you get something right, you still continue to go through the material just to get better at it and to make sure it’s en-grained. The more you go through the material, the more you retain.
The same can be said about any given task you are anxious about. Instead of focusing on how you can overcome your lack of confidence without experience, focus on the task you are not confident about. While being focused, go through it. Repeatedly go through it until you begin to improve. Even with improvement, just like studying, continue to go through what you have learned and polish what can use improvement. Confidence is an attribute that follows a skill.
The better that you are at that skill, the better your confidence will be. We lack confidence in things we are not good at. Instead of focusing on building the confidence to develop the skill, think of improving the skill to improve your confidence in that skill.
Focus On The NOW
The last perception change that is ensured to increase your confidence is focusing on the task and not the consequence of it. All through our childhood we were raised to think about the consequences of our actions. Though this can be beneficial, I have found that we have taken this to extreme measures. Before the simplest of tasks, we tend to overthink. That overthinking begins to overwhelm us with doubt and keeps us from the opportunities right infront of us. With the thing you are trying to build confidence in, forget the consequences and just focus on getting the task done (within reason). Focus on the moment and forget the future, because the better future won’t come if you let the present take it away from you.
Forget the expensive life coaching, cheesy dating tips, and popular gimmicks. The real key to building confidence starts and ends inside your own head. In order to gain confidence you need to get rid of the imaginary separation you put between yourself and others, realize that what you are probably lacking confidence in is an everyday thing that will not make or break you life, focus on building the skill you are lacking confidence in, and focusing on the task rather than the outcome. Confidence has nothing to do with changing the world around you, but rather changing how you perceive it. Don’t get too caught up in the hype about changing your looks, increasing your wealth, or changing who you are.
With changing your perception of the world around you, a whole new world of opportunity is there for the taking.
Author: Ahmed Jabai
“Ahmed Jabai is a Human Performance Major at Texas A&M Commerce, an NSCA certified personal trainer, and content writer.”