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People like to talk to me about weight loss. This is a problem for me because I actually hate talking about weight loss. I don’t mind writing about it, but if you come up to me in person and start talking about it – I will change the subject.
Because people always say things to me which require me to NOT point out their bullshit…and I find that hard.
For example, when people talk to me about weight loss (and invariably they start it, because I will not), they say things like:
“I know what to do, I just have to do it.” What you mean when you say that is that you think you know the mechanics of what sorts of actions lead to weight loss – in general, eating less and exercising more – but that you don’t actually have the skills and tools to make that happen.
However, since this is invariably said to me as a conversation ender (ending a conversation which I did not start, btw), it closes the door to any kind of constructive discussion of where said skills and tools might be acquirable, or how to go about learning them.
“You shouldn’t be eating that!” What you mean when you say that, is that YOU shouldn’t be eating that. I actually had somebody who was new to weight loss, but knew I was an old pro attempt to slap a cracker out of my hand as it was on the way to my mouth. I was appalled and it showed, in possibly a more forceful manner than was necessary. I couldn’t believe that somebody would do something so inappropriate and infantilizing. Because we have discussed weight loss in the past doesn’t give you the right to police my choices, ever. I will be responsible for what I consume, and you will be responsible, conversely, for what you consume. That’s the essence of how it works. Personal responsibility.
“Diets don’t work – I just gain it back.” What you mean when you say that is that you have refused to make the lifestyle changes necessary to keep it off, and refuse to accept that it is your responsibility to make the on-going changes, a diet program is just a guideline.
Additionally, you may be telling me that you have failed to follow up on your program by not enrolling in the maintenance phase and taking to heart the lessons in that phase. Or your program has failed to provide those lessons, skills, and tools. That is a bad program.
Hey, I know how hard it is. I know that there are times in life when you fall off that wagon because there are other things that loom higher in priority. But the essence of life-long weight management is dusting yourself off and getting back up on that horse. Er…wagon. And finding the skills and tools to make it work day in and day out.
I’m Laina. I lost over 200 pounds. And I’m fighting tooth and nail, kicking my own ass, to keep it off. Follow me here on getyourFITtogether.org and let’s keep the conversation going!