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Why Venting Never Works

By June 2, 2017 April 12th, 2019 No Comments

Females especially, including myself, love to chat with their gal pal about how ridiculous their boss or boyfriend is or how bad they screwed up.

In our mind, by venting to our besties we feel that we get genuine advice that could really help us get through a shitty situation.

Not only is this dead wrong, but it actually can make things worse. As an official leader of the complains-a-lot-club, I’ve found these strategies to help instead.

First Off, Stop Venting!

Seriously. Stop venting.

Stop venting to

  • your boyfriend
  • co-worker
  • complete strangers
  • your stylist
  • anyone else you manage to wrangle in to your complaint tank

Venting makes you relive an already bad or stressful situation.

How dumb is that?

As humans, we think that venting is logical because we can “rationalize” a bad situation to find a solution.

But it’s not true and certainly doesn’t help.

Instead, venting just makes us even more worked up, more irrational and less likely to handle the situation properly.

Here’s what you should do instead:

1. Journal The Situation That’s Causing You Discomfort… And Leave It There.

Don’t tell anyone about what happened in that particular situation.

Just get your thoughts out on paper and vent them there instead.

2. Try To Write Down Three Positive, Unrelated Situations that have happened to you in the last week or so.

This will re-focus your attention away from the negative drama and centers you to a place that makes you feel grateful and happy again.

3. When All Else Fails, Count Your Blessings!

Oftentimes we see a mountain out of a mole hill and switch right into negative land.

Instead, think about everything you should be grateful for and realize that this negative situation will eventually pass and has already consumed too much of your already short life.

Trust me, things could be a lot worse.

How do you get through tough times?